Hey, I resemble that remark!

[primroseburrows]

Gacked from unitarians:

AN OFFICIAL HOLIDAY WISH

Please accept, with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best
wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low
stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter
solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of
the religious persuasion of your choice, with respect for the
religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their
choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all...

...and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically
uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted
calendar year 2004, but not without due respect for the calendars of
choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped
make America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater
than any other country or is the only "America" in the
Western Hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age,
physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or
sexual preference of the wishee.

(By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: this
greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely
transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies
no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for
her/himself or others. This wish is warranted to perform as expected
within the usual application of good tidings for the period of one
year, or until the issuance of subsequent holiday greetings,
whichever comes first. Warranty is limited to replacement of this
wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Void where prohibited by law.)