rants and ramblings of utter randomness

Hey. Holding this spot because I don't want to get deleted (not even sure if they're doing that, but just making sure). I would love to come back to fandom, but I'm a fan searching for a fandom these days. Still drawn to due South, so send me some fic recs/communities? I bet things have changed since a few years ago. Here's a pretty pic to break up the boringness of this post. Oh, and happy Pride!

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"The Wind Cries Mary", no contest.

Why? Generally, because I've always liked it, all that angsty music and lyrics is right up my alley.

Fandom-ly, because it's so very Fraser/Victoria. It's near the top of my "stuff I would vid if I actually could make vids" list.

I mean, come on, ( check out these lyrics: )

Clearly the bullet list is my drug of choice these days:

• Where is Stan Rogers when we need him?
  
  He wouldn't have been at all surprised, I'm sure. :(
  
  
• I really want to make a list for mission101, but I don't know if I can come up with 101 things I want to do in 1001 days. I want to make them meaningful, you know? I don't want to list something like "start list" and "finish list" and "go to the bathroom".
  
  
• My mother's blood pressure is in the 90/50 range. She also has chronic anemia. She's been dizzy and weak. She's on several BP meds and Lasix. When she told me what her BP was (and it's been somewhat below 90/50) I practically ordered her to not take the Lasix or the BP meds until she saw the doctor. The doctor cut her Lasix in half, and also halved her lisinopril. IMO she needs to not take ANY Lasix. No edema, no symptoms of CHF. She's post-op but doing well considering. Also, one of the side affects of Lasix is ANEMIA. *headdesk* The doc said she may have to go over to Westerly Hospital for blood if her labs come back anemic. Yeah, I'd go with that, but um. I think the fecking meds are causing an exacerbation of the anemia. Of course, I'm not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV. If I did, I'd have a newer car.
  
  Dear AMA,
  
  Giving meds isn't always the answer. People aren't robots, they don't always respond the same way.
  
  No love at all,
  
  Me, on behalf of my maternal unit.
  
  
• songdogmi (not to be confused with songdog, although both are Very Nice People) links to this:
  
  Killing wolves is still illegal in Michigan
  
  Why was it ever legal? Wolves are LESS AGGRESSIVE than dogs. Do we want to open up dog hunting? I don't live in Michigan, but it seems to me that unless an animal is directly attacking humans/livestock/pets, we should leave it well alone. And anyway, since wolves and dogs are almost identical genetically, how is a hunter going to tell he/she's not going after someone's Malamute? I don't remember any news article about pocket DNA tests being invented for use by hunters. wtf?
  
  Also? Cutest. Thing. Ever:
  
  
  
  (from this site, which says "wolves need friends, not owners.") See? Fraser was right. *g*
  
  
• Fannish projects are humming along, despite RL issues. Yes, even axial_tilt. I've also started writing what will likely be my longest fic ever (no, not the Barrett's Privateers one, although that's in the works and I'm gathering info, 'cause that one's hard). I really like the tiny scene I've written; it's one that's been in my head for weeks, and it turned out pretty good on (virtual) paper.
  
  
• Night shift tomorrow. I'll make the obligatory "entertain me" post, I'm sure. No youTube, though, because Butler Hospital is Big Brother about youTube. :/
  
  
• I'm going to have my Tarot cards read with tapped_trish, et. al. on Thursday. I haven't done that in ages. I can read my own, ostensibly, but I haven't in ages.
  
  
• My house is clean save for my room. I'll clean some tomorrow when I'm not writing (see list item re: axial_tilt). But my kitchen! My dining room! My living room and bathroom! Yay!
  
  
• Little Mosque holds its own opposite American Idol.
  
  I cannot tell you how pleased I am about this. LM is cute (not great, but cute and very watchable). AI is teh evil, and shouldn't be shown to kids under, liek, fifty. I loathe it from the depths of everything I have depths of. Bleh. Ick. Ptui. Yay, cute little sitcom!
  
  
• Here, have some Stan Rogers:
  
  Free in the Harbour
  
  
• ETA: How could I forget to add this? Happy birthday to mickeyvt, and kupukello! Many happy returns, dears.

Okay, so um. Obviously my definition of "a few sentences" isn't the same as the rest of the world's.

Woe. Angst. Gnashing of teeth.

Tell me, someone, WWFD??!!

By way of isiscolo, et. al.:


Sum up your former/current fandoms in a few sentences, as if they were human beings/very convincing sockpuppets on your flist. Then let others guess "who" you're writing to.

1. I met you while I was terribly depressed and heartbroken. I became lost in you as a way of avoidance and hibernation. You were exactly what I needed at the time, and I'll always thank you for that. I'll always be grateful that I found you just when I needed your grand, sweeping charm. The weird thing is, I fell out of love with you even faster than I fell in. I eventually became un-depressed, I guess, and besides, you started to get a little too delusional for me. Or maybe a lot too delusional. I admit that a big reason was that I found someone else, and left you in the dust. I should be embarrassed about this fact, but I'm really not. I still appreciate where you came from, although the spectacle you made of yourself makes me cringe to this day. You started out so beautiful and idealistic, what the hell happened?

2. I had a dance card and you were on it. Your name was jotted down, offhand, somewhere near the bottom. What little I knew about you I got from second-hand hearsay. I didn't take up with you because of some passionate epiphany, but simply because you suddenly became available and I was bored. And wow. You bowled me over so quickly I was hardly aware of it. You stole my heart with our first conversation because you never pretended to be anyone but yourself. You're warm and wild and unconventional. You mask your bone-deep sweetness with layers of wit and clever comebacks. I want to peel you like an onion. Most of the time I believe everything you tell me, because it's obvious you believe it yourself. Even the tall tales. Even the bald-faced lies. When we're out together, you don't mind if I dance with someone else as long as I remember who I came in with. And anyway, you know everyone; the club we frequent isn't nearly as popular as the shinier, fancier one down the street. It's a small crowd, but boy, do they know a whole lot of dances. And because I do remember who I came in with, I always come back to you for the last one, every single time. Because what we got ain't just a flash in the pan, buster, this one's a keeper. And still we dance.

3. I'll always love you. Even when I'm not paying attention, not showering you with praises, not even looking in your direction for huge chunks of time, don't ever doubt me. You're like a patchwork quilt; you're all at once immature, loving, combative, annoying, creative, conceited, noble, deceitful, petty, compassionate, and smug. I love your pockets. I love your sprawl and your diversity. You've touched and changed my life in ways you probably never imagined. Or intended. I don't think I'm in love with you anymore; it's been a while since I was. Even so, please, please believe me when I say that I'll most likely love you for the rest of my life, because the gifts you've given me are priceless.

4. You were my first true love. I can't imagine a world without you in it. You showed me wonders; introduced me to places and people I never knew existed. You helped me learn that I wasn't the only strange bird in the flock. The first time I saw you, you told me a story from somewhere in the middle of the long, sweeping curve of your life. I wasn't sure what you were saying, but the way you said it made me want more, more, and more still. So you told me another one, another disconnected part of the whole. I had no idea what your history was, or where you were going. I only knew that I would follow you to the finish. Sometimes neither of us was sure if you had the strength or the support to finish the run. I shouldn't have worried. I guess I forgot about your dad's courage and determination. I'm really glad to have stuck with you to the end. I think of you often, with the warm affection that can only come from an old flame. I once thought you were perfect. I don't anymore, and that's okay. Better than okay. Your flaws somehow make you even more endearing.

5. You're different from all the others. We're different together. I don't do the same sorts of things with you that I do with them. It's not because I love you less; quite the opposite. It's because I love you so much that I don't have any desire to change you in any way. Some might think I'm either crazy or lying, because of how many times you've hurt me, and how much. You've literally brought me to hot tears, screaming and swearing and throwing things, more than once. I should want to change you, they say. I couldn't do it, because you wouldn't be you anymore. Your cold-steel bluntness is part of who you are. It's the honed metal edge that gives you that stark violent beauty I got lost in so long ago. And I do love your words. Your voice makes me shiver. I belong to you, always, ever, ad infinitum. I've never wanted to be without you, not even the times when I've hated you at least as much as I love you. I guess it's a given that I can't NOT love you. I think we're soulmates, as hokey as that sounds. I'm a different person today than I was before we met. I love you more than all the others. I can't help it, it's out of my hands.

6. I knew you and I would hit it off before I introduced myself to you. I was very happy with someone else, and I didn't think I wanted anyone else, so I procrastinated. A lot. Curiosity got the best of me, and eventually I couldn't put it off anymore. I introduced myself to you, we talked quite a bit, and damned if I wasn't right. We clicked instantly, what with our shared common interests and obsessions. You were funny and complex and cool. I felt like I'd fallen in love with my best friend. Things went very well for a long time, and my other lover didn't mind sharing, which was a plus. After a while you changed. You became disjointed and directionless. It didn't seem to bother you. I'm not sure you even noticed. It confused the hell out of me. I stuck by you for a long time after that, because I loved who you were, and I hoped you could be that again. No dice. It got worse. You became another person entirely, and I didn't like who that person was. Still, I got occasional glimpses of the smart, together, quick-witted person you were when we met, and I stayed, and hoped against hope. Then you hurt someone I loved very much. You'd tossed him around for a while, and I guess he couldn't take it anymore, and suddenly he was out of my life, and I didn't want anything to do with you anymore. You kept on, pretending there was still something inside worth loving. I couldn't see it anymore. I don't know what happened to you in the end. I could find out. I'm not sure I care enough to make the effort, which is sad, because I loved you. I think of the person you were a lot these days. I also think of our long-lost friend, and it makes me sad.

7. I met you through one of your neighbours. True fact. I'm trying to write true facts, in order to give an accurate description of you. I seem to be having trouble with it. I simply can't put you into words. Problem is, you're about as close to perfect as anyone I've ever seen, and that sounds ridiculous. Except it isnt, and I know it's true because I've done my research. Everyone who knows you loves you. I've asked around. You shine, is what you do. Everyone who knows you loves you, and you're not the least bit vain about it. I don't know why your entire family hasn't taken out a full page ad in the paper or put up a billboard announcing to the world that you belong to them, that they made you. And oh, did I mention how gorgeous you are? I'm not even going to try to describe that. It's not necessary, beause all anyone has to do is look at you. Even your colours match. So, since I can't use words to describe you, I'll just have to make it my job to squire you around and introduce you to everyone I know. I love you so very, very, very much, and I also respect the hell out of you, and I'm so fecking proud of you I could bust. It's my pleasure to see to it that you get all the glory you deserve.

8. I like you. I really had a blast when we dated a few years ago. I was never in love with you, but you were a good time and we had fun together. You were like a trip to the candy store. Some of the candy fizzes in your mouth. Some have chocolate in the middle. Great taste, pretty colours, all the kids are doing it. I just never had a desire to get to know you any better than what you showed to everyone else. I don't feel regret or sorrow or anything, it's just the way it is. You're a great date and you're very attractive, but I don't want to be your girlfriend.

9. I don't know you yet. I really, really want to. Like immediately. Like intimately. We've met, you know, briefly. I liked what I saw a lot. A great big giant lot. I have your number, I know where to find you. I've seen a few pictures of you. A few of them literally take my breath away. Why haven't I tried to get to know you better before? I really need to change this, because I have a feeling we could have something hot and gorgeous and fucking incredible. I know I'm going to be kicking myself for all the time I've wasted. I will be calling you, and soon. Very, very soon, you beautiful, beautiful thing. Guh. I get all sweaty from just thinking about what we could become. Holy shit.

Woah. It took a long time to think up all of that.

In other news, malnpudl! I got your package. I'm waiting until I'm awake before I even take it out of the box, I'm that sleepy. *hugs* Thank you so very, very much, darlin'.

Well, gee, whaddya know?

Caesarean birth triples maternal death risk

( cut for mild rantage )

And now, for something completely different:

( Fannish meme variation )


In other news, my (very overpriced) copy of Hard Core Roadshow arrived yesterday, yay!

And today, my (also very overpriced) copy of Bernie Taupin's Tribe showed up. The overpricedness is because both items are out of print. My buying them is one reason I tend to be broke.

Anyway, even though there's two, maybe three of you tops that would want this, here's the file I've been trying to get for ages, and the reason I bought the CD in the first place. That and well, it's Bernie, and well. It's Bernie. :)

Bernie Taupin - Billy Fury


I might even do a proper review of it later on and pretend everyone cares.

Oh, yes. I heart the fantasy world inside my head. *twirls*

Going to work soon, but um.

Is there anyone in fandom (or not!fandom, for that matter), especially in New England, who knows how to play Tarabish? I haven't played in years, I suck at it and still need to use the bloody cheat sheet with all the values on it. I'm certainly not good enough to teach anyone, since I'd have to learn to play all over again.

I'd love to play again, maybe get involved in a group or something. I'm v. sick of the whole work, be bored, work, be bored cycle I seem to be in. So why not play an obscure yet fun Maritime card game? w00t!