A small quiz and much late-night t00biness regarding various children

[primroseburrows]

What fictional character uttered this cool quote:

Believe me: if you are told that some experience is going to hurt, it will hurt. Most pain is in the mind, and when a woman absorbs the idea that the act of giving birth is excruciatingly painful--when she gets this information from her mother, her sisters, her married friends, and her physician--that woman has been mentally prepared to feel great agony.


Who wrote the story in question?


What is the very cool thing about the author that I just learned?


Who is the OTHER author that led me to this cool thing, and this cool quote?


Am I the biggest nerd you've ever met?




Also, is there anyone on any mommy community that focusses on teens that actually get along with their child(ren)? Am I the only one whose kids didn't hate them growing up and STILL DON'T? Almost every LJ community I've looked at that deals with teen parenting, the majority of the posts are "rant, rant, rant, my kid hates me, I hope he/I/both of us can survive 'till he's 21 ZOMG!" I mean, I've had my share of battles with my kids, but really, we've never reached the point where we weren't speaking, even when they were in the heart of the TeenageRebellion!Angst (which we had darned little of, thank the gods). Even now, mr_t00by and I get along very well (and not just because he's thousands of miles away. *g*). Am I just an odd person with odd kids, or what? And today, I've run into a couple of RL people who basically are of the opinion that most parents of teenagers can't wait to send them out of the house so they can have their lives back. This is a foreign concept to me. My kids are welcome to come and live with me (in a bigger house, hopefully) until I'm old and grey and in a rest home (or an in-law apartment, w00t!). Am I obsessed with my kids (I don't think so--they all have very full separate lives from me), am I lonely (sometimes, but I keep myself busy), or am I just fortunate enough to count my one teenage and three adult children among my friends? And is that a bad thing? I don't think so. Not for a second.

Having said that, I know there's circumstances between parents and kids that make the anger and resentment come and set up housekeeping. I guess after everything is said and done, I'm just a lucky mama. And I'd do it again in a New York nanosecond.


In ALACE news, I'm making progress on Module One.

In wherethehellaminow news, I'm still at patchfire's house, in the not-so-warm-yet Georgia, which is also the home of quite possibly the coolest, sweetest, brightest little boy to come down the pike since my own lovely boys were ickle (not to mention his equally ubercool big sister).

*sigh* I'm also a lucky goddessmother.

Life is good, but I'm gonna be sorry I stayed up so late when it's 7:30 a.m. and Gillian wakes me up with tomorrow's narrative.


Also (don't worry, I'll stop soon), mr_t00by posted a Shiny, Happy first-day-of-spring post.. I picture him skipping. :)

Now I'm going to bed. Kara and Jess and all, Eddie and I will almost surely be around tomorrow evening for RPage, if you're interested, unless of course Georgia falls off of the map or loses electricity or sommat.


ETA: I actually have TWO teenage kids, because i_am_a_hannah is going to be 19 next month, but since she's also an adult, I included her in that category. *loves*

Comments

[loveneverfails.livejournal.com]

I can't STAND the whole "all teenagers and parents hate eachother" thing. Drives me up the wall.

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

I've honestly never experienced it. I should make a comm called mykidslikeme. I'm not denying that there are kids and moms with real relationship issues, but it seems to be rampant in LJ comms (I'm not talking about anyone on my flist, or any individual, btw. Just a sense of epidemic in the comms).

[moonlight69]

OMGYAYEDDIE!

Am only on page 63 of book 7 though, so I can't even read your entrance post yet! But others will play with you. ;) And remember your spoiler warnings, say thankya.

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

How do you do the spoiler warnings? LJ cut?

[moonlight69]

You can, or you can just put a message in brackets that says [Spoiler for The Dark Tower below!]

[inmemoriam.livejournal.com]

i don't know who wrote that but i like it! women are strong enough to bear children, more often than not. if more of them knew it themselves, we could revolutionize the epidural process and administer it to every passing doctor in the maternity ward while women calmly delivered their babies in peace.

what is your parenting strategy? be tough when you need to be and always be loving, but remember the "tough" part?

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

if more of them knew it themselves, we could revolutionize the epidural process and administer it to every passing doctor in the maternity ward while women calmly delivered their babies in peace.

I like this. It has Potential. *starts campaign*

Not to mention that if most women knew why mothers are made to lie down during labour (because Louis XIV wanted to see his mistress giving birth from behind a curtain, among other inane reasons) when upright and walking is statistically better, constant fetal monitoring (which even the inventor of the monitor says has no place in normal birth), IV drips, pitocin (to speed up a "slow" labour that isn't conforming to the hospital's Rules), and a thousand other things AND if they knew that planned homebirths have similar or better outcomes than hospital births, they'd think twice and then some about even going to the hospital in the first place. [/rant]

[inmemoriam.livejournal.com]

:: worship::

:: worship ::

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

I've got to stop birthranting. Pretty soon I'll be stopping people on the street and telling them about the eeeeebils of epidurals.

[inmemoriam.livejournal.com]

epidurals = cesaerians

i'll make us some signs

we'll be heroes!!!!! (or bombed...)

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

Make me one that says "Ask me about my epidural". Because it was awful for me AND for baby and I'll be sure to share all the gory details. No cæserian, thankfully, but. *scrubs brain*

[inmemoriam.livejournal.com]

ooohhhh poor lamb xo xo xo xo xo xo

*comf*

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

He got over the epidural (and the pitocin and the internal monitor/thing screwed into his scalp before he was even born that gave him a fever and the stupid VACUUM SUCTION they had to use because mom was flat on her back in stirrups and had no feeling in her lower body so had a pisspoor urge to push) AND escaped the Evil Circumcision Doctor despite desperate battering-ram efforts by THREE shifts of nurses. And he's one of the most fearless people I know. Trial by fire, but still, wah.

Women and Infants' Hospital can die, die, die. After it screws an electrode into its own technocratic scalp.

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

Oh, and as far as parent strategy, I really don't have one. I just sort of accepted my kids for who they are. I'm probably more laid back than some, and I guess if something came up that would have made me completely put my foot down, I would have. I also like to pick my battles. My kid wants to wear their hair some way I might not like? Mneh. It's hair, not heroin. Stuff like that.

Fortunately, there were no major discipline problems. Yeah, sure, one kid didn't ever want to do his homework, and there were teacher conferences and strategies tried and IEPs given. Kid still didn't really do much homework. He graduated high school anyway, and he's doing well at college whaddyaknow, without me nagging at all.

And love. Love, love love. It's underrated. They always, always know I love them, even if they're in the process of irritating/worrying/scaring me to no end. I always told them if they ever were on death row for choosing a career as an axe murderer, I'd be angry and disappointed and scared. I'd also be at the prison door brandishing a cake with a file in it and a really fast getaway car. :)

[erebor.livejournal.com]

I didn't hate my parents either when I was growing up. I was just fine living at home, they gave me space as I got older, everyone acted with respect.

The emphasis on conflict between parents and teens annoys much as the "battle of the sexes" (sic) crap, which I consider to be largely the product of people talking about differences SO much that they are ignoring the common areas and mainly creating expectations of problems. Which then arise, of course.

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

The battle of the sexes, mneh. I consider myself a feminist, and whee, I still like men. Go figure. ;)

[erebor.livejournal.com]

Same here. I'm proudly and staunchly feminist, but I adore men. Spend most of my time working with them. Can't stand the male bashing shit that goes on.

[tarimanveri.livejournal.com]

Well, I can safely say that although the four of us have been passing through our teenage years since 1997 when I turned 13 and will continue to do so until 2010 when my little sister turns 20, none of us have ever hated our parents (beyond occasional grumbling) and vice versa. Some of my best family memories are from my teenage years - two car trips across Canada involving days of driving trapped in one vehicle, for instance, in which no one died or came to blows. And my parents have always assured me that home will always be there for me. They also think people who aren't friends with their kids aren't raising kids for the right reasons.

So a lengthy way of saying that you're not the only one...

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

:) I joined a couple of comms anyway, because there aren't a lot of resources for teens out there, unless they're "troubled".

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

I used to know a girl who lied to her mother about everything she did. Why? Because her mother never trusted her and wouldn't let her do ANYTHING. It was obvious that her mother didn't like her, let alone trust her. This girl did a lot of not-so-cool things. I'm sure mine have, too, but usually they let me know what's up with them. Probably because I didn't assume they were doing something "bad" every time they were out of my sight.

[trempnvt.livejournal.com]

Eh. My mom gets along well with all of us. (Not that I'm a teen anymore, but even when I was.)

On the other hand, it was crazy how the school bus when I was in high school was completely full of girls (moreso than guys) complaining about their awful relationships with their parents.

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

I probably did my share of complaining. My kids probably did, too, but I don't think they ever said they hated me (to me or anyone else).

I wonder why it was the girls more than the guys?

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

I have one sister. I can't imagine having FIVE. Not that songdog doesn't rock, or anything. :D

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

I can remember going through a phase where everything anyone did annoyed me (with my mother getting a lot of that) but I never hated her. I guess one could say that I was frequently in bad moods at times but yeah, I don't get the hating the parents thing. I really have no idea how my mother would describe me at that time. Maybe I remember being snotty when I was snotty because I'm so aware of my own ridiculousness and she just brushed it off.

But yeah, I can honestly say I never hated my parents and I don't think they wanted me out of the house the way that's being described. They wanted me out of the house in terms of wanting me to have a life and all those normal things, but I don't think it was a case of not being able to stand living with me.

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

I never hated my parents, either (and I had THREE of them, including my stepdad, who I consider to be my second father). They annoyed me to no end at times ,but that's just the generation gap or whatever. My mother was a chronic worrier. She wouldn't let me leave the yard until I was eleven, not because she thought I'd go shoot heroin, but because she thought I'd get run over by a car. It was her issue, but eh. I knew she loved me, even while I was fuming.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

This may seem like a weird connection, but sometimes I wonder about this when I see people reacting to Snape and Draco in HBP. Like, where they'll talk about their relationship deteriorating or Draco being ungrateful--whereas to me it sounds like yeah, Draco's going through a bad phase but it never occurs to me that Snape really thinks he hates him or that he really does. He's just going through stuff and Snape, as a parental figure, is going to sometimes bear the brunt of it. It's a sign their relationship is strong, not that it's over, if that makes sense. Since I always compare it in my head to what it must be like watching a teenager make his own mistakes I sometimes wonder if other people would see both situations differently.

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

This is why I can't really get into Snape/Draco fic. Snape, flawed though he is (and he certainly is, but so is everyone else in the story in their own way), is the closest thing Draco has to a caring male figure. Everyone else judges him except Snape. And in HBP, Snape has his own issues, and so he's not likely to be all happycamper with Draco. But I don't think Snape could ever hate Draco. And now with this Vow, he's even more his Protector than ever.

[on-a-hill.livejournal.com]

1) Ok when do we get the answers to the quiz! 2) I think that our society is deeply and profoundly dysfunctional to the point where when we seen functional people and relationships, it seems odd and out of place. That's my take on you........I fully believe I can have the relationship w/ my children that you have w/ yours, however I've always been considered the weird hippy. :)

[on-a-hill.livejournal.com]

3) and not to be argumentative.......however I don't really buy into the thing that birth can be painless for EVERYONE. I think it's just one of those things that is just different for everyone. Pain is the best word I can use to describe my labors but that's not even the right word really. But they were VERY MUCH so whateverthewordis. I just take it as my body is VERY efficient, my labors have been very short and my body pretty much pushed my children out without any real effort on my part. I don't know that it's possible for *me* to have a pain free labor, but I am sort of ok with that if it means they will all be less than 4 hours. :)

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

Oh, I agree that birth isn't painless for everyone. I do think, though, that the way pain is experienced and processed is entirely different when in a supportive environment with caring people around, and when a woman knows she can trust her body to do what women have been doing for hundreds of thousands of years. Also, labour contractions are purposeful, and the mind can subvert the paradigm that all pain is Bad, which most of us are taught from a young age. If we're prepared, pain can be something to work with, instead of rail against. Also, there are non-phamacological methods of pain relief (labouring in water, massage, positioning in labour) that are beneficial to mom and baby, instead of detrimental . And also, I don't want to come across saying that sometimes interventions (pain meds and other medical stuff) aren't ever necessary. I just feel that in normal birth, if a woman knows she can trust that three-million-year-old mother (a phrase from an old birth book that I adore) inside her, most, if not all of them, won't be needed.

[on-a-hill.livejournal.com]

*nods*

yeah that.

and I always shy away from telling people birth was "painful" or it "hurt" cause those words don't really fit.......because I wasn't scared and it was BAD, it just was what had to be for my body to work.

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

however I've always been considered the weird hippy. :)

Hee. Yeah, me too. *eyes Birkenstocks*

And the answers are coming in the next post, because nobody seems to know them, wah.

[rudenate3.livejournal.com]

You have the strangest kids I've ever met, but that's what makes them awesome.

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

They have the strangest mom they've ever met. :)