primroseburrows: (dS: frasersadness)
This afternoon I found Natalie on the bathroom floor. I don't know if she was having a seizure or a heart attack or what, but one thing she wasn't doing was breathing. I'm pretty sure she wasn't choking on anything because I swept her mouth and didn't find anything, and she didn't even gag. I rushed her out the door and into the car, but she was gone before we reached the emergency vet. I think she was gone before I got her out the door.

This wasn't the sad but somehow peaceful scene like what happened with Stormy--this was sudden and unexpected and there was no time to say goodbye. Up to then Nat had been fine-- eating and sleeping and meowing and being herself. She may have been a tiny bit quieter today, but I'm just guessing, who knows? The vet at the emergency place said they couldn't tell what happened, but it could have been anything from a seizure to heart failure. It was over in seconds, and I have no idea how or why and I probably never will. I could have asked for an autopsy, but what would be the point? I keep feeling guilty even though I know I'm being stupid because she was loved and fed and petted and cared for.

And now I've lost two cats in less than a week. WTF, God?

I can't remember a time when there wasn't a cat in my life.
primroseburrows: (dS: frasersadness)
Today is a sad one for the Primrose clan--our much-loved kitty Stormy Elizabeth was gently put to sleep this afternoon. Her health and her weight had been going downhill for the past several weeks, despite thyroid meds and a good appetite. Her breathing had become more and more laboured. The chest X-rays didn't show the lung cancer I'd expected, but rather end-stage emphysema. The vet said she didn't have more than a couple of weeks at best, and that there was no treatment.

The good things are that Mary was able to say goodbye to her (Stormy was Mary's cat more than anyone's, even though she lived with me), and also that I was able to be with her when she died. The vet and her assistant were caring and beyond wonderful. Her passing was peaceful and she purred throughout all of it, and I got to pet her and comfort her the whole time.

She was a little smokey-gray tabby with a sweet face and a disposition to match, and we loved her a lot. I can't remember the exact date of her birth, but we're positive she was at least sixteen or seventeen years old. In other words, she had a lovely, happy, long life in the company of a lot of people (and pets) who loved her--we should all be as fortunate.

She'll be cremated and then her ashes and those of our wonderful old Rhett kitty will be sprinkled on our old property on Block Island (where Mary's dad still lives and where Stormy grew up).

I told Mary that I'm not sure that cats have an afterlife--heck, I'm not even convinced that people do, but if people DO, then surely their pets are there with them. Either way, I like to think of her--and all my lost kitties (and one amazing dog)-- hanging out and playing with their buds over at the Rainbow Bridge. It may be hokey, but I don't care.

Bye, honey. Say hi to everyone for me. ♥♥♥♥

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primroseburrows

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