If dogs don't go to Heaven, I want to go where they do when I die

[primroseburrows]

I had to have my dog Roz put to sleep today. I sort of knew it was coming, but not this soon. The kids and I are all heartbroken, but she was getting sicker and more aggressive and at the end, I was scared of her. Apparently she'd had a brain tumour for quite some time, which caused the behaviour change.

She was almost eight, a black terrier mix, and when she was well she was the best dog (and the best friend) that anyone could ever ask for. The vet said she would have done the same for her dog (in fact, she had for one of her own dogs) and that I made right decision. The fact that it was I who made the decision still leaves me with a feeling of guilt, though, that my decision is the reason she's gone. But really, it's not. The tumour is the reason, and nobody caused that.

I'm trying not to think of her in the sad, scared, scary way she's been these past weeks, but rather at play in some vast field or running on the beach (she loved the water!). I like to think she's happy where she's gone.

She was our first dog. She won't be my last, probably, but it will be a while before I can devote time and energy to a dog again.

Roz was one of the best there is. She loved us and I think she knew we loved her. We're really, really going to miss her.

patchfire, I tried to call you to tell you, but I couldn't reach you and didn't just want to leave a message. *hugs*

Comments

[robinhoo.livejournal.com]

Massive hugs and empathy, Kel. I know how it feels to lose a dog that is just so very much a part of you. It's exactly like losing a family member. I think you're doing well to be focusing on happy memories and mental pictures of Roz, because that's how the majority of her life was spent.

And, speaking as an OT scholar, I do believe animals go to heaven. The Hebrew Bible suggests that all of Creation is precious to the Creator, and I have yet to find evidence that we humans get some kind of special consideration over and above our fellow created beings. Don't worry, you'll see Roz again. And until you do, she's waiting patiently for you. *more hugs*

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

My sister had a friendly, lovely Golden who I'd like to think is waiting with Roz. They were buddies in life.