(no subject)

[primroseburrows]

From maggiesox:

Baseball As Foreplay, or Beats Me How I Avoided Throwing Up Whilst Reading This



Example of text, for the linkaphobes:

What You Need:

* A laid-back attitude: be prepared to get a goofy souvenir, indulge in ballpark delicacies like hot dogs and nachos and just forget your to-do list
* A favorite player: pick one and yell like crazy (in unison) whenever he steps foot out of the dugout
* Old baseball glove in case a foul ball comes your way, cushy seats, baseball caps, sunscreen and sunglasses.
* Tickets. If it’s a major league game, get them ahead of time. For most minor league games, you can just walk up and buy. Or you can check out the county recreation league for free
* A time to leave: say, the 7th Inning Stretch or mutually pleasing point to slide on home for your own special game.


First of all, how sexist can you get? Women can be and are serious fans. *points repeatedly and furiously at self* And WTF, the article's from the K-Y Jelly people? *hits self on head with bat*

maggiesox has problems with the second item. I find the last one worse. Nobody's getting me to leave at the seventh inning stretch, and if my date wants to, um. Probably no second date. Loser. That one'll be crossed off the list faster than you can say "Sweet Caroline".

The authors of this piece of drivel need to be tied to the Pesky Pole and flogged with Jason Varitek's dirty undershirt, may it do ya.


Okay, rant over. I'm going to bed now. I swore I'd be sleeping by three, but alas, earwax I'm still here. Going now.

Comments

[pingviini.livejournal.com]

Urgh!!!

I have problems with most of the text/idea, but particularly with this:

Remember you’re not really there to watch the game. You’re a couple of players trying to score sensual favors, later.

So if you, contrary to... well, what - nature?... should get interested in the game you're watching, you have to remind yourself not to be!?

How about going to watch the game (or something else!) to do something fun together that you both enjoy?

And sorry about going over the top with the exclamation marks. :)

[dorrie6.livejournal.com]

First of all, how sexist can you get? Women can be and are serious fans.

A-freakin'-men.

[patchfire.livejournal.com]

It's like Gillian's Sports & Skills camp, in a way. Twelve kids, only three girls, and the other girls there are all in pink tights and buns and there's just something about that that fundamentally bothers me beyond the obvious, but I can't quite put a finger on it.

Look, I finally fixed my triskelion!

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

the other girls there are all in pink tights and buns

Yes. Which reminds me of the girls and women who wear the Pink hats. Pink? Is not a Red Sox Color (note American spelling in honor of the Great American Pastime), I tell you. Neither is green, but it bothers me less than teh pink. My hat is the official blue, thankyouverymuch.

The pink in the icon is pretty and good, though, although I did not know it was broken.

[patchfire.livejournal.com]

But it's a breast cancer hat. Didn't you know that everything is all right as long as it suddenly becomes associated with breast cancer?

[inmemoriam.livejournal.com]

everything is all right as long as it suddenly becomes associated with breast cancer

especially when the sign says that it's "in support of breast cancer"

signs like that make me want to go home and cry.

[patchfire.livejournal.com]

Next thing we know, breast cancer's going to be running for Congress!

"The sign paid for by the Committee In Support of Breast Cancer."

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

That's just the only picture of the hat I could find. I'm all for the breast cancer ones, but a lot are just plain old MLB marketing, without any charity attached.

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

That is, I'm all for the breast cancer ones if there is money actually going to fight it, and all.

[inmemoriam.livejournal.com]

agreed -- "in support of curing breast cancer" is infinitely better than being "in support of breast cancer" --

the latter being a sign i see every time i walk by the fundraiser outside our building; they sell hotdogs in support of breast cancer. i was going to correct them but when i caught a whiff of the hotdogs i began to suspect that they may be correct all on their own...!

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

So I can buy scalped tickets if the scalper promises to donate to breast cancer research?

[patchfire.livejournal.com]

Only if the tickets are pink. And only if you give in and wear a pink hat.

I keep typing 'hate' when I mean 'hat.'

[peacey.livejournal.com]

I'm tellin' ya, I just don't get people who leave a game early. Did they not pay for their tickets? If they did, WTF? What kind of fans are they and don't let me hear anyone say they're trying to beat the traffic. How wimpy. Don't they want to see the team win or support their effort if they lose? When they have a friend who's coming upon hard times, do these same people just bug out? Besides that, the only other bit in the article that irked me was the author saying something to the effect that "Remember, you aren't really there for the game". Really? I'm not? *bonks the author over the head with closest bat or hockey stick* Oh yes I am, mofo! I's lovin' me some Red Wings and Tigers and hells yeah, I'm there for the game! WooHoo!!!!

[patchfire.livejournal.com]

*pokes somewhat relentlessly*

Where have you been?? I need to talk to you! And you need to tell me how Thursday went! And what you finally wore, come to think of it. And and and...

*sits in the corner and pouts*

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

I'm here, I'm here. Just lethargic, for some reason. See my post. I'll be around after ten tonight--I have to go out, but not late. *hugs*

[patchfire.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

(So, c'mon, did Isaac tell you I threatened to sic Nibbles AND the Big Chicken on you? Is that what brought you out? ;)

I've misssssssseddd youuuuuuu.