(no subject)

[primroseburrows]

From maggiesox:

Baseball As Foreplay, or Beats Me How I Avoided Throwing Up Whilst Reading This



Example of text, for the linkaphobes:

What You Need:

* A laid-back attitude: be prepared to get a goofy souvenir, indulge in ballpark delicacies like hot dogs and nachos and just forget your to-do list
* A favorite player: pick one and yell like crazy (in unison) whenever he steps foot out of the dugout
* Old baseball glove in case a foul ball comes your way, cushy seats, baseball caps, sunscreen and sunglasses.
* Tickets. If it’s a major league game, get them ahead of time. For most minor league games, you can just walk up and buy. Or you can check out the county recreation league for free
* A time to leave: say, the 7th Inning Stretch or mutually pleasing point to slide on home for your own special game.


First of all, how sexist can you get? Women can be and are serious fans. *points repeatedly and furiously at self* And WTF, the article's from the K-Y Jelly people? *hits self on head with bat*

maggiesox has problems with the second item. I find the last one worse. Nobody's getting me to leave at the seventh inning stretch, and if my date wants to, um. Probably no second date. Loser. That one'll be crossed off the list faster than you can say "Sweet Caroline".

The authors of this piece of drivel need to be tied to the Pesky Pole and flogged with Jason Varitek's dirty undershirt, may it do ya.


Okay, rant over. I'm going to bed now. I swore I'd be sleeping by three, but alas, earwax I'm still here. Going now.

Comments

[patchfire.livejournal.com]

It's like Gillian's Sports & Skills camp, in a way. Twelve kids, only three girls, and the other girls there are all in pink tights and buns and there's just something about that that fundamentally bothers me beyond the obvious, but I can't quite put a finger on it.

Look, I finally fixed my triskelion!

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

the other girls there are all in pink tights and buns

Yes. Which reminds me of the girls and women who wear the Pink hats. Pink? Is not a Red Sox Color (note American spelling in honor of the Great American Pastime), I tell you. Neither is green, but it bothers me less than teh pink. My hat is the official blue, thankyouverymuch.

The pink in the icon is pretty and good, though, although I did not know it was broken.

[patchfire.livejournal.com]

But it's a breast cancer hat. Didn't you know that everything is all right as long as it suddenly becomes associated with breast cancer?

[inmemoriam.livejournal.com]

everything is all right as long as it suddenly becomes associated with breast cancer

especially when the sign says that it's "in support of breast cancer"

signs like that make me want to go home and cry.

[patchfire.livejournal.com]

Next thing we know, breast cancer's going to be running for Congress!

"The sign paid for by the Committee In Support of Breast Cancer."

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

That's just the only picture of the hat I could find. I'm all for the breast cancer ones, but a lot are just plain old MLB marketing, without any charity attached.

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

That is, I'm all for the breast cancer ones if there is money actually going to fight it, and all.

[inmemoriam.livejournal.com]

agreed -- "in support of curing breast cancer" is infinitely better than being "in support of breast cancer" --

the latter being a sign i see every time i walk by the fundraiser outside our building; they sell hotdogs in support of breast cancer. i was going to correct them but when i caught a whiff of the hotdogs i began to suspect that they may be correct all on their own...!

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

So I can buy scalped tickets if the scalper promises to donate to breast cancer research?

[patchfire.livejournal.com]

Only if the tickets are pink. And only if you give in and wear a pink hat.

I keep typing 'hate' when I mean 'hat.'