whoever said life is fair was lying. the same goes for lightning never striking twice.

[primroseburrows]

This afternoon I found Natalie on the bathroom floor. I don't know if she was having a seizure or a heart attack or what, but one thing she wasn't doing was breathing. I'm pretty sure she wasn't choking on anything because I swept her mouth and didn't find anything, and she didn't even gag. I rushed her out the door and into the car, but she was gone before we reached the emergency vet. I think she was gone before I got her out the door.

This wasn't the sad but somehow peaceful scene like what happened with Stormy--this was sudden and unexpected and there was no time to say goodbye. Up to then Nat had been fine-- eating and sleeping and meowing and being herself. She may have been a tiny bit quieter today, but I'm just guessing, who knows? The vet at the emergency place said they couldn't tell what happened, but it could have been anything from a seizure to heart failure. It was over in seconds, and I have no idea how or why and I probably never will. I could have asked for an autopsy, but what would be the point? I keep feeling guilty even though I know I'm being stupid because she was loved and fed and petted and cared for.

And now I've lost two cats in less than a week. WTF, God?

I can't remember a time when there wasn't a cat in my life.

Comments

[nmalfoy.livejournal.com]

Oh, honey, I am so, SO sorry... you did give her a wonderful life and it sounds like her end was at least quick.

I don't know why you've lost beloved family members like that, and so quickly, but maybe talking to your vet would help.

They're waiting for you, you know, and when the time is right, maybe another kitty will come into your life. They can't replace the ones you lost, of course, but there is joy out there. Time heals.

*huge hugs*

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm definitely waiting to get another kitty--I need time to let everything settle and it wouldn't be fair to just run out and get another one. If one finds me in the meantime, I'll know it was meant to be. :)

I don't think the two events were related. Stormy had end-stage emphysema and was obviously ill. Natalie had a little cough which the vet wasn't overconcerned with, and other than that she was perfectly healthy. In retrospect I wonder if the cough was cardiac-related.

*hugs tight*